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THE STORY BEHIND EVIL SLIPPERY BATHTUB
A BATHROOM MISHAP
Behind the Poem: Evil Slippery Bathtub
By Lorenalitit, age 16 (but also 8)
When I was 7-years-old (almost 8) I had a dramatic run-in with a very rebellious bathtub. Getting ready to exit, I slipped, arms flailing, pride bruised and like any emotionally-charged young writer, I immediately grabbed a pen and poured my outrage into a poem: Evil Slippery Bathtub was born.
The next day, I proudly showed my teacher at school. She loved it so much that she asked me to perform it at our upcoming talent afternoon, in front of the whole school and visiting parents. I was nervous, but excited and honestly, pretty proud. This was my debut as a serious poet.
When the big day arrived, I delivered the poem with full 7-year-old theatrical gusto. There was rapturous applause... but also a few raised eyebrows. My teacher and the deputy head were practically crying with laughter. I didn’t really get why, it was supposed to be angry and a little funny I suppose but not that funny.
Fast forward to yesterday, (3rd June 2025) age 17, when my mum finally told me the truth. Sitting in the audience that day, all she, my dad and most of the adults could hear, thanks to my passionate delivery and enthusiastic consonants, was:
“You evil slippery bastard!”
Yes, "bastard".
To me, it was a poem about injustice and soap-related treachery. To them? A wildly inappropriate and unintentionally hilarious moment of poetic protest.
From Packsaddle to Punchline: The Long Life of "Bastard"
The word bastard comes from 12th-century Old French, likely meaning “packsaddle child” – referring to children conceived on the road, often outside of marriage. It entered English via Medieval Latin bastardus and originally described someone born out of wedlock, with serious legal and social consequences. Over time, the term took on a pejorative tone, evolving from a label of illegitimacy to a general insult implying someone unpleasant or dishonourable. Writers like Shakespeare used it both literally and figuratively and it still carries historical weight in modern fiction. Today, while often used humorously or casually, its roots lie in a long history of social exclusion and shame.
THE STORY BEHIND MINECRAFT MURDERER
Additional Information
My parents are killjoys especially my mother!